Why I'm Taking a Break From Blogging

Yep, it’s another one of those “sorry I haven’t been around lately” posts that seem to be littering the blogging world these days. It’s spent a good month on my desktop and now, well, here we go.

WHERE

I'm enjoying a break from blogging or, really, feeling pressured to produce a never-ending stream of content. I've been overwhelmed with this unspoken burden of keeping up for some time. It's had me thinking a lot about what precisely I want to put out into the world. For what do I want to take responsibility? What am I trying to say? What am I encouraging? What legacy are my words creating?

When my thoughts become restless, I need to start cleaning things out physically. Purging has become a favorite pastime. I've been culling a lot from my life, from craft projects I hung onto out of some weird obligation to myself, to the thoughts that clutter my mind with ways to stay relevant. I'm letting them go.

I'm unplugging more often and not letting myself get weighed down. As an information junkie, this has been hard for me. I should mention again that my house has never been cleaner.

I'm focusing on one thing at a time, like our homeschooling. I'm not impatiently pushing my children through lessons so I can get to that 'sponsored post.' We're reading out loud, writing out lists, quizzing each other, and it's such an awesome feeling. Nothing inspires me more than watching my kids make the connections, struggle for solutions, and grow.

This is where I'm at right now, and I'm not sure how I'm going to progress from here.

HOW

How did I get here?

This year was NOT going as planned, especially regarding the blog. I set my sights on niching down.

The only problem is that's not why I write; it has never been why I write. I'd let myself lose focus. I ignored my responsibilities to myself and my craft and muddied my intentions. I didn't want to admit it. 

The blogging and social media worlds move at a pace I've refused to keep up with. Hmmm. In truth, I pompously imagined myself above the fray and judged my fellow bloggers and marketers as victims of the sponsored content machine. Then, I started to get campaigns, and with each paycheck, my self-righteousness turned to humility. There were no victims; they were more like participants in a race I had no right being a part of.

I felt stupid. I felt alone. I felt like I should give up.

Then I read this article.

Then I watched this video; the 17-minute mark especially hit a chord.

Then there was this twitter feed.

And this quote.

So, maybe, the machine wasn’t the problem; my trying to be a part of it was. Yeah, it's still a question I'm trying to answer.

Meanwhile, IRL. In the spring, my oldest son joined the Air Force. This month, I took him to the airport so he could fly off, across the Atlantic, to his first duty station and a new life. I genuinely believe that from the minute they leave our bodies, our children are no longer ours. Years of holding onto to that thought have helped, but it doesn’t erase the fears and hopes of a mother. It’s been tough.

And then there was the election. We decided we didn’t want to live in the middle of America anymore. I wanted the coast, any coast with water, open skies, and open minds. Not everyone just up and decides to move across the country. I can promise you the more people I share this with, the more I fear I’m setting myself up for judgment, or worse, failure.

 Then there was an offer and the horrible realization we’d put the cart before the horse. Houses don’t just sell where we live. So we’re in a holding pattern until we get rid of this mortgage. If you’ve considered simplifying and going minimalist, let me tell you the question you should be asking. Am I willing to pay to move it across the country? It’s a much better indicator of whether an item brings you joy.

WHY I CAN’T GO BACK

Physically and emotionally, when you get a taste of the freedom simplicity offers, it’s hard to return to accumulating stuff. Letting go of things creates space to breathe, move, and realize what is important enough to hold onto. I feel like I’m at a legitimate turning point with this blog and with my life.

I don’t want to be a part of the content churning machine that says it’s okay to consume for no reason other than to consume. I don’t want to be responsible for that waste. It’s not my truth anymore, and it feels dishonest to pretend like it is.

Will I still make and share crafts? Maybe. But, I’m not going to make for the sake of having content. I want to share more purposefully. Trade in the SEO keywords for my voice. 

I feel like I could go on for another thousand words and talk myself into circles, never really getting anywhere. Instead, I'll leave you with this.