50+ Cuss Word Alternatives
In a few of my previous lives, I was a sailor, and judging by my vocabulary I’d say I wasn’t just a sailor but one kick-ass pirate! Unfortunately, as my husband tells me…all…the…time…cursing makes you look unintelligent. Now, both my fellow sailors and I know that that’s not true. Using words incorrectly makes you look stupid and cuss words are not normally used incorrectly, at least not by me.
Anyhow, I’m a mom, blah, blah, blah, so I am trying to be a good example and all that jazz. So a couple of months ago I asked my friends on Facebook to give me their best bad word alternatives. Here is a VERY EXTENSIVE LIST with some explanations here and there. (Corresponding blogs are linked.)
- Monkey Poo
- Bush league
- Sugar bush
- Balls (We had many, many, balls on the list)
- Son of a Mother
- Mother bear
- Sweet mary and Jooooosssseeeppphhhh (in my best fake Irish accent…)
- From Madagascar: Shouda Had an Iced Tea and Grand Cooley Dam!
- From Rise of the Guardians: Shostakovich!
- From Spongebob: Barnacles
- Using random, silly words that start with the same letter as the cuss word you want to use. ex. Soda or Forceps
- THANK YOU Arnebya from What Now and Why for this super awesome clip and great idea! Book Exclamations
- Go French, Oh Mince!
- For the Love of Everything
- Shut the Front Door
- From Ice Age: Continental Divide: Suck It up, Buttercup
- God Bless America
- Biscuit Eater
- Nuts and Bolts
- The Cosby filth, farth, and filth
- Shitake Mushrooms
- Sweet Darius Rucker
- Monkey Fluffer
- Peanut Butter and Crackers
- Bob Saget
- What the French toast
- Kiss my applesauce
- Kiss my grits (How’s that for a flashback?)
- From Adventure Time: What the Funky Fresh? and Don’t Be a Dumb Apple
- Oh, Faaaaaaabulous!
- Mother of Pearl
- Itchy Bee (I loved this one from Michelle of They Call Me Mummy and you’ve got to hear the backstory! “My daughter told me that there was a girl in her class who is an itchy bee. I replied, "huh?". With a poker face and raised eyebrow, she continued, "Bee with and itch..... Get it, Mum? B + itch!" Apparently this is doubly satisfying because she can say it at school ;p”
- Son of a Beehive
- Dad Gum It
- Golly Gee Wilikers
- Rat Turds
- Shish Kabob
- Smart Ass=Intellectual Donkey
- Cheese and Rice
- A brother who’s sister’s name is Chas, “I use the word Chas!!!! For example "I'll be Chasd" it works for me!!!!”
- Oh My Word
I am giggling so very hard at this. It's so much funnier to see them laid out this way and you've given me so many new people to read, so thanks!ReplyDelete
Holy Criminy, that's one heck of a list (oh, and "holy criminy" would be the tops of mine, for sure!) I feel so far removed from blogland (having been lost in a mixed media portal for a while), you have given me some great blogs to check out - for which I am most grateful. On top of that - I've got some new things words to throw out when needed! LOL!ReplyDelete
Love it. I tend to say naughties when I'm under extreme stress, try not to but do. Sue me. I'll print these out and highlight my favorites that will be easy enuf for me to recall when needed and I'm pretty sure they'll be needed before my time on this earth ends, lolReplyDelete
Cheese & rice! Laid out like that, these substitutions are even funnier. Thanks for including Miss M's little spark of genius :)ReplyDelete
Sidenote - Miss M was being snarky (as only a tween can be) and I said, "Don't be a clever dick!" That was her - DONE. She laughed so hard at me for that archaic phrase I resurrected from the 1600s. Clever dick! That wasn't rude when I was a kid!